So this is a really interesting story. I feel like the writer begins writing this as almost a love letter to Dexter. Vegeta is a serial killer who is phenomenal at what he does and only kills those who he deems deserves to be killed. His backstory is even that of a boy whose parents are killed and he is stuck in a room with their bodies for a time.
This story has a lot of plot to it, Bulma is in love with Vegeta, but is engaged to a man that her family set her up with. Her family is the head of a crime syndicate, and she is engaged to an unnamed criminal also – but Bulma is a detective. Bulma considers herself to be a good cop, yet she knowingly lets her family and so many people get away with these crimes. When Vegeta busts out of jail and convinces Bulma to run away with him, the plot gets moving.
A LOT of this story is stuck on Bulma, who like I said earlier fancies herself a good person, trying to come to terms with Vegeta’s demons. This is really a human AU that explores the Majin Vegeta arc, full on with the explosion redemption. I love that it is not your typical Vegebul story – these characters already know and love each other, so this is a story about what happens later in their relationship.
I’m really torn about the twist ending. From the beginning of the story we are told about how bad it would be if Bulma’s family caught wind of her being alive, and the set up for either her ex-fiance or her parents being the bad guys was there from the beginning and in fact that was the only real setup for a bad guy. So when the real “bad guy” came along, it was shocking in kind of a bad way.
This story is really hard to read. This author likes LONG sentences, and needs to add commas. I think they might not be a native English speaker also; some words that they use are not really words we use in typical conversation, and there are some really awkward phrases and sentences. I think it’s about 10,000 words too long also. The author was really heavy handed with Bulma’s feelings. I would rather Bulma show me how she’s feeling, and in MUCH SMALLER chunks than read the same ideas over and over each chapter. There are also way too many adjectives (and this is coming from someone who LOVES her adjectives). I don’t need to be told that his brows are evil. His actions through the story tell me he is an evil fucker, so we don’t need that extra help.
It’s not a story for everyone, I actually think the writing from a technical standpoint is quite bad, but the plot is interesting. I like the way the characters are treated. I like the themes this fic explores. Shit, that might be the one thing that kept me reading to the end. It’s a really dark and dystopian view of human-kind. The people in the story who try and do “good” things are punished and those in power are all corrupt and crooked, the bad guys really get what they want in this story (bad guys being people like Vegeta). Human nature is described as almost pretending to be good until you need to let the beast out, and that is super dark.
I don’t know that I would really recommend this story to people, its kinda out there. However if you can push through the writing, and really focus in on the ideas in this fic, it’s nice. After some more practice, I would be so stoked to see what this author comes up with cause the ideas are really interesting and presented so uniquely!